@TNWmusicFans' timeline on Twitter .. 2 of 2
- I think poultryghosts come in to my iPad at night and rearrange my chicken pictures,
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Everything will work itself out. Everything is going to be ok. -
This is just hedonistic pleasure seeking of a perverted nature. But at the same time, meat pudding doesn't keep. -
Don't cry over shattered dreams that leave u holding ur head in ur hands every night & make u think about ur lost youth. There's always hope
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If you knew how many times I hit 'comment' then 'cancel' half way through you'd thank me. Or unfollow. Or both. Maybe neither. Meh, whatevs.
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What is it about lying that makes your pants so combustible?
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In life & work systems will fail that matters not its how u recover & move on that counts
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RTing someone is basically outsourcing your tweets.
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Sometimes even being soul mates doesn't mean that you should mate...or some deep shit, whatever.
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The snowstorm makes you doubt global warming, & the wordless monkey makes you doubt evolution. I get you.
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Girlfriend wants me to start running. But I can't run anymore. When my buns of steel banging together, it sounds like two trash can lids.
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Ööööh nighty my sweet hawt ö-faced sexzee baybee-löve bone-ridin' slutmuffs. Mmm! Mmmm! Hmm! Don't make me come out loud.
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One day I'm gonna figure out what I did wrong to you, and I'm gonna write a song about it.
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There comes a time we find an aging parent very pale & still, we softly touch them....and their eyes pop open and scares the crap out of us.
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I typed "Bitch" into my GPS and guess what? I'm in your driveway. Vroom Vroom Mother Fucker.
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[We are in the pantry.] SIS. There's only plain chips. ME. Ridges? SIS. No. ME. When it rains, it pours.
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It's actually good luck to open an umbrella inside (your vagina).
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Yes honey, I did have a twitter crush but she audioboo'd.
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We finally found that Twitt Gossiper site...and read about some of you. Luckily we could give a fuck less about what most of you are up to.
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Your aggressive tweets frighten me. Sometimes I think you need professional help. Or to get laid.
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I'll meet you half way and make the toast.
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Note to self: faith & make up.
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When I was little, I confused "stop, drop, and roll" with "grab, twist, and pull" and long story short I broke a fireman's dick
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Everything that happens is subject to your interpretation of it. Take for instance your timeline, it makes me believe you are a douche.
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If a zombie ate my brains, it would starve to death! Haha see I'm implying I have no brains but zombies can't die see how dumb I am? lol omg
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It wasn't until he saw a boat full of animals that God realized some asshole left the water running.
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These followers I bought are not accustomed to Free Skate Night. That last chain of 12-year-olds took 'em all down.
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There are many bad things happening. There are many good things happening...the tricky thing is enjoy and balance. To experience and let go.
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If we don't tweet, how are we sure we exist?
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Last time someone told me there was change in the air I got hit in the face with a fistful of nickels. Change sucks.
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Keep the dream alive, stay in bed.
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"be kind to those you love, be kind to those you don't... but for gods sake you've got to be kind"...
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I take a Star to mean any of: Funny Sad Thinking of you I agree I don't agree, but good point I appreciate your mental illness Other stuff
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I really don't want to follow people that steal tweets--not because it's a crime but why can't you think of your own idiot tweets.
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It's unfair that in near future hasn't invented the time travel & my future self can't send me help.~Random thoughts in front of ATM machine
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I wish "Where's your toy?! Go find your toy!" worked on people, too.
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Hmm. Am I an anarcho-capitalist, or a
#libertarian? RT@reason: Anarcho-Capitalism: So Crazy, It Just Might Work! http://ow.ly/2vUSXt -
It’s okay.
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I just go out in public to give strangers more opportunities to judge me
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The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance. The wise grows it under his feet. - James Oppenheim ♥
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Man is the only creature who refuses to be what he is. - Albert Camus
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If U believe in something tremendously, you've 80% chance to succeed. But if U pinning your hopes on the statistical,you have been defeated.
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I heard that there is an audience that it sees the sessions on parliament channel. It's reasonable,we all miss The Muppet Show.
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When nothing goes right.... ....don't go left. Stay where you are,until someone give you a ride.
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"Momentarily" is such a great word. So much more sophisticated than just saying "soon."
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Twitter ~ Where no one knows what the fuck's going on and everyone's happy with that.
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Do whatever you want that makes you happy. Just don't hurt anyone else along the way.
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When they say "look at it from another angle" exactly how does that work with something like an orange ... cuz you know, sphere.
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I don't use my real name. I don't have a face. I am here to say everything. Even the wrong things. Please don't fucking correct me.
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"Pull harder, smack it or somthing." ~Confused man. "Pull harder, smack it with something." ~Unconfused man.
#passesbong -
I know I left the washing on the line all night if I see a news report looking for a guy wearing a Zombie Tshirt & a pair of frilly panties.
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It's confusing when someone retweets something smart.
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"Failure seldom stops you. What stops you is the fear of failure." – Jack Lemmon ♥
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startin out as a tear the mischievous liquid mighty & strong rolled down that cheek folding itself into a flower a smile broke out pain gone
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I guess your court date went ok, I see you are tweeting.
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The most loving thing you can do for a person is to believe in the way that they are figuring life out for themself.
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The highest form of control is knowing when to let go. ~Unknown
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Ciabatta? More like Don'tbatta. Haha! Stupid bread.
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New person yay! Oh good stuff! star star star star... racist tweet?! WTF?! Unstar unstar unstar ...slink away..take shower. -
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt ♥ -
Everyday I like 2learn something. 2day I learn raspberries hav small pips which get stuck between teeth. Not big day in search 4 knowledge. -
We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be. - Kurt Vonnegut -
There's a joke about thirst, hump, desire and camels. Just can't quite figure it out. Maybe osteoporosis should go in there too.
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All this talk about camels is making me thirsty. I could really drink a humpful.
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When you abandon making choices, you enter the vast world of excuses. - Wayne Dyer ♥
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not even noon and i've pissed off another family member. they're dropping like freakin flies.
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If someone retweets to fucking zero followers, you should still be fucking grateful. They not only read, but also enjoyed your tweet. Dick.
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Join twitter, tweet about your spouse, tweet about your twitter crush, live tweet your melt down, twittercide, come back as a cat.
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If my face was my avi my thousands of followers might recognize me on the street and chase after me and tear my clothes off for souvenirs
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Let's remember. Unless you're wearing the panties or lack thereof I'm the boss. The shirt says so!
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Monkey see snake. Monkey think St. Patrick a fraud. Monkey drink to that! *passes out, pisses self* (8(/)
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I AM NOT your sex toy Mila Kunis! STOP IT! SHEES.....You can be such a pig sometimes!
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Perhaps you are right commander katfish.. maybe we shouldnt rush into alien sex.. and I've been thinking about letting the captain know
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A couple of AA's tells me you're a kinky pleasure seeker. Four D batteries tells a total different story.
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"The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity." – Amelia Earhart ♥
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That was me being fucking inspirational & shit... What the fuck guys? Go star that shit. Or this shit. Or some other shit. Shit.
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Its not likely you'll even notice my one little hopeful star in the sea of hundreds before it. *sigh*
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Stop boring me, Mark Harmon.
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Dial it back a little, blonde guy on CHiPs.
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It was one of those work days where I had to blow way too many pubes off the toilet seats.
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“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson ♥
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Basically what I'm saying is I need about 12,000 people to unfollow me before the end of the weekend. You know who you are. Dicks.
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Been on Twotter for 6 or 7 months, still don't know what I'm doing. So I tried FavStar. Great, now I don't know what I'm doing in 2 places.
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I get pissed when I hear a shitty version of "The Devil Went Down To Georgia". Johnny wouldn't win playing the song totally wrong.
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Singing in perfect harmony is overrated. I'd like to teach the world how to differentiate between their fb and twitter apps.
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I'd describe my look as Just-this-side-of-hot meets Just-that-side-of-desperate.
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I may be a spinster, but I also crochet and read romance novels.
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be your ugliest scrunchiest squishiest fattest self. put on hats and flip-flops. go flirt w the ladies and dogs and trees and handsome men
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Costco Law: You will be sick to death of that thing you love before you finish the second box.
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Try 2 explain Twitter 2 friend. Fact I am followed by horse, 3 dogs, cat, brown paper bag and a vegetable I don't recognise, doesn't help.
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Is this thing on? I'm shittin' gold here, tweepers.
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Five. Five flusher. Five flusher footlong.
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what if you were furry and you were the united states of america
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It’s like I agree with everyone here.
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Tracy Chapman - This Time http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEhXtZ7L4YE&sns=tw … via
@youtube -
Dimming the lights and being on twitter. I was waiting for this moment.
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Jed's A Millionaire - "Someone" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OkwOaEUdLd0&sns=tw … via
@youtube -
If a friend's fly is down in public, I silently flop a boob out so they don't feel self-conscious.
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Your passion is your destiny. ~Unknown ♥
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Newbies, you don't wait for followers, you go get them.
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I once knew a man who made a room out of garage doors & showed films of his wife giving him head. It was odd but the films were fairly good.
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I was expecting a hot cable guy but no.
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This is just like a relationship. I babble 3 or 4 words & expect you to know exactly what I meant. What the hell? Yeah. Together 4-ever.
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So it's starve a cold eat a beaver right?
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Seriously, I almost sent a tweet about the muffin man running naked through the room screaming about licking him first. Now thats crazy shit
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Be your own North Star in life and you can never lose your way.
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Some people don't care about your name, age, gender, skin color or religion. They just wanna let you know you're not alone. It's beautiful.
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Seriously, it does not matter. I could be followed by every last account on Twitter, & I'd still feel like the little brother tagging along.
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You know that whiny version of me? Yeah, I fucked her.
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How many Retweets does it take to ruin a time line? The answer is 0.
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Every star you give me is another step closer to me sleeping on your couch.
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What kind of person expect a follow back early in the morning?! I have to check your TL first bud. Give me time.
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I prefer to laugh at tweets making fun of yourself, rather than someone else.
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I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile, then walk into a pole..
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It isn't a shame to be broken. It is a wasteful shame to Stay broken. Pick up your pieces. Form mosaic art. You have people who will help
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Twitter and wine go together like a woman in labour and laughing gas.
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Want to kickflip like me, kids? Stay in school.
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You are absolutely fine. There's nothing wrong with you. They just don't know what they're talking about.
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*note to self* Do more Al Sharpton jokes
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If I make the news tomorrow, it's because my husb just snapped at me in front of his mother. Don't believe the spin they put on the story.
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When I played lead guitar for Whitesnake, Tawny Kitaen was always sliding across the hoods on everyones car. Left oil streaks. Shit got old.
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Tale of One City
#lessinterestingbooks -
Life coaches and financial advisors, why do you need my money if you have all the solutions? Follow your own advice and retire.
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I have days when wearing a hat is the only use I have made of my head.
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I love when I get a star but no followback. It's like pulling over 2 let them pass; they give a half-ass wave and then chunk out a beer can.
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Odds are you follow some people who have reached 'Rock Bottom' in real life. They don't need any more BS from you here. Try to be kind. Thx
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An intellect is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture and NOT think of the Lone Ranger.
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If It were not for the thoughts..life would be perfect.
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Shakespeare chose to rhyme luck with pluck and had no idea how to gain followers.
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Love means never having to say I'm sorry I was fucking wasted when I did that.
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My boss puts raisins in her brownies... if you were wondering what kind of monster I work for.
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it was simply a corner. it didn't ask to be turned
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You don't need to be perfect to change the world for someone. You just need to be you. I guess not being an arse also helps Xxx
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If you must 'march to a different drummer', at least hire one that's upbeat. You're welcome.
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don't worry about the stupid. worry about the smart and mean.
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gonna go to where the church people go gonna show em some frogs
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“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt
#LoveScopes ♥ -
Your tweets are star funny, but they're not retweet funny. I hope you understand.
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Having a phone and complaining about getting phone calls is one of the dumbest thing I read every day here. The other things are my tweets
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Tweet like the Bolsheviks are coming.
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Never log out, never surrender.
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I didn't post anything on April Fools' Day because I want people to know that all my tweets are serious as fuck.
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I unfollowed reality the day I joined Twitter.
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Your love is like a cheap broken down roller coaster, baybah.
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Fuck Simon, he can say whatever he wants, I'm not doing it.
Evil Schwartzie
PrincessOfEverything
Dolores
Jesus Jaramillo
WhatserName
Jake B
Daniel Duwa
Jane Soap
Saga
Kyle Garvey
GuyInOrangeShades™®
Scarlett Fever
Beth
♔ Female Facts ♔
Debbie Harry Cooter
gordon
Just Call Me Frank™©
Shyayn Lusch
SpaceSquirrel
Ophelia Croissant
Komberlay Perlmerl
Mommy_P
Minty Wafflefarmer
Nickels
Yer_Mom
paula
PrincessCandyEmpire
Trademark™
R_N
Scott Taylor
System Failure
blunder rated
Bodrell Spicer
Rotusbrossum
indie claws
LoveScopes
Lilly
~Sheila~
Theodora Chester
From the desk of ...
Gone
Aspersioncast
nerdamage
Anonymous Vagabond
OneKnightStand
Hushpuppy 5¢
Blakey Pants
miss shushy paws
not so funny bunny
Rainbow Brite
Chrisanna4real
Fred Zipfel
ClumzyVixen
Manic Monkey
Copulaterman
Vocally Harsh
The Dork
truly
sex out the city, ok
Shari VanderWerf
Vandal
Divine Diva
FUCKYOUSTUPIDFUCKS
Negatron
Running Mascara
...
Katie Kaleidoscope ☮
Don Pearyawn
Lolly Sassafras
Hubba Pasha
Susan W
Jimmer Cork-Bottle
Nico
pocket mouse
Tink
sweet p
Czar M
Labels: #ftwot, #gaf, #gsoav, #jsntf, #tbot, tweets, twitter
posted by Taranonymous Reads Not the Book of Tweet @ 4:17 PM
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