@TNWmusicFans timeline on Twitter .. 1 of 2
Tweets
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Back in the 80's I had more hair bands in me than Willie Nelsons ponytail.
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Talk about literally pitching a shit fit. The monkeys don’t like the new trainer, Mr. Gabriel. Especially near tools & electricity.
#ftwot -
Knock knock. Who's there? Fuck. Fuck who? Fuck you.
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Twitter injury.
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I stayed up for this? This is ALL late-night twitter hasta offer?? Falls over on bed. Fine. Just get it over with.
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Remember, when dealing with people, there is only one currency that has the most value and that is loyalty.
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People don't "get" crazy. People ARE crazy. Functional relationships are ancillary benefits that very few actually experience.
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I’m so sorry, I’m all fresh out of your mom. :/
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anyone can learn from their mistakes, i like to be different.
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I'm gonna go to twitter. It will make me feel better.
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"Could we change our attitude, we should not only see life differently, but life itself would come to be different." – Katherine Mansfield ♥
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Everyone IS a star. Me, You, the entire world.... Talk about some extremely gifted fuckers...All of this talent is overwhelming.
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When I don't like a tweet I tried to hide it, not by deleting it, but by retweeting people.
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Dubstep sounds like a pinball machine was banging a Casio keyboard when somebody kicked them down a flight of stairs.
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It's not really tweeting if your just reading and rt'ing right? Can someone check the rules..?
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Wow. That's a lot of @ replies you have there. *backs away slowly*
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Will be still posting retweets on my page, but keeping my ratio high of my tweets for my stupid meaningless twitter rankings.. .
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No such thing as an innocent bystander. Speak up, do something, or you're just as guilty as the abuser.
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Finally came to the conclusion that building a globe to scale is impractical.
#ftwot -
Justin Bieber's email inbox must be a nightmare with all the retweet notifications he gets. You know he still gets those. You know he does.
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I guess if you don't have a hell of a lot going for you then the best thing to do is just smile and nod and pretend everything is peachy.
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I don't know where all these new followers came from but I followed them back and they're tweeting sappy shit. Someone hold me.
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Whenever Twitter sends me a text that says: "Whoops! You already tweeted that", I think "Woop! There it is!"...
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What's a Texas?
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Defend you? Pfft. Not if it'll cost me my Favstar status.
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Atheists don't also get to be skeptics.
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"All I've got is a red guitar. I need these corduroys in blue." (Tangled Up in Bono)
#ftwot -
favorite outfits: 1) bed pajamas 2) house pajamas 3) grocery store pajamas
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Thanks for your help, Entropy. [as house approaches, & is about to cross, 'officially thrashed' threshold] I've got it from here.
#tbot -
What do I think? I say monkeys should wrap all of our tweets in poo & then throw 'em against a wall. Bounciest one we hafta salute.
#tbot -
It was only when she squirted me (actually, she soaked me), that I realized I had stumbled upon the fountain of euphemism.
#tbot -
In the hardcore world of dogs and pizza, there is no "honor system."
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Some twitter celebrities I find them really adorable cuz they remind me one of my xGF She’s never alone & she’s always lonely
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I fuck up Facebook like your mom on Facebook.
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Buddhists have it easier than Christians. They always know what would Buddha do - nothing.
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There are no failures, just experiences and your reaction to them. ~ Tom Krause ♥
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Since you all aren’t reading my tweets, I’m gonna hafta read 'em out loud to you. I’ll be using my singing voice. You’ve been warned.
#tbot -
“You can’t see farts to begin with, so you couldn’t have a total eclipse of one,” Bonnie Tyler informed her totally immature husband.
#tbot -
I told Kanye & Jay-Z you won't watch the throne because you don't need to hold their seat while they toilet tweet. You're welcome.
#tbot -
For the last time, I've worn shades & full body armor ever since I went in thru the out door of God's glory hole. Can't stop crying.
#tbot -
I wore a tie today, My dogs were very concerned - they were waiting for a giant to come take me for a walk.
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Sleeping Planet .mov: http://youtu.be/2eqJudwTQPg via
@youtube hello from woolytooth, video of "sleeping planet" filmed in austin 1993 -
NEW HOBBY: Whenever I’m asked something I reply “not since the accident” and slowly walk away. Backwards. Keeping eye contact.
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“Fine son, I’ll be honest with you. I named you ‘Magnum’ because I knew you’d fail me too.” -Me 20 years from now
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The New Westerns - "Railroad Gal" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFVUV_MUiYs&sns=tw … via
@youtube -
"A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval." – Mark Twain ♥
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Time for a nap or food or... I dunno my thumbs are tired. Think I'll visit Real Life.
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there is no secret to perfection it lives in your mind only
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Dream Job: Being the guy who seems to get paid for occupying every stall in this building & deliberately taking long. I know you, asshole.
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*Deep* I know it's "I couldn't care less", but it seems that "I could care less" requires more dedication to achieve the same goal.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder... Especially if they're perky.
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People all bitchin' by subtweeting me I don't RT enough? There's 11 in a row. Happy now?
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Ya see. Ya put the old SlimJim in the microwave see. Then ya savor the discharge of oils see. Youse hurd me correct kiddos.
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Isn't it refreshing to know that we will all go down in history as the great philosophers of our time?
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I don't care which athlete or celebrity is gay, straight or bi...should be a non subject for the public...just saying.
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What a crazy ride this life is.
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motion for fish to have more colors and do more little jumps
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I'm not gonna lie, I loved Rock of Ages. Go ahead, unfollow if you feel the need.
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I wish I was as enthusiastic about life as the people on this infomercial seem to be.
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Social media has allowed us to reach out, speak our truth and lift people up. Seems like a good way to spend time.
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This meteorologist keeps talking about "a disturbance" but she never adds "in the Force" so I don't have a clue what she's talking about.
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If I execute proper posture my stomach barely sticks out. It's nice to know, I guess.
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I almost tweeted that I love writing product reviews!
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In a first, YouTube to showcase a week of comedy http://apnews.myway.com//article/20130425/DA5SJ3R81.html …
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~ "Your life becomes the thing you have decided it shall be." – Raymond Charles Barker
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Violent Femmes - old mother reagan http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFxtmaQSIzg …
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One way to look at it, I guess it takes guts to follow me.
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hey, if u want kids to transcend their capabilities, treat them like humans. Not job-having humans, not humans of a particular race, humans.
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Sooooo I was checkin out this chicks ass when I got on the wrong train.
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i think this wasp wants to hear me beatbox.
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There's a hot guy at this party. I might have to show the girls.
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Getting family to unfriend you on fb is harder than you'd think.
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A healthy twitterer retweets.
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We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow ♥
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#np Too good to miss ==> Jed's A Millionaire - 'She Says' ~• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4XWKfJWR0hA&feature=youtube_gdata_player … •~ -
All together and by the numbers. 1-click on a tweet. 2-click on Favorite. 3-click on Retweet, click Retweet. Very good. Now again 1-click...
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Your tweets are as good as the reciprocity you're owed.
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If there were a college course on the theological implications of flossing, I'd take it.
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you can't spell 'go to bed' without 'no'
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hypocrisy has really brought us all together.
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~ "Forget past mistakes. Forget failures. Forget everything except what you're going to do now and do it." – William C. Durant ♥
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Twitter is very Facebooky today.
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Insanity is doing the same thing expecting different results. Slathering my body in mayo and rolling down Wilshire singing show tunes isn't?
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Don't delete. Leave it up long enough for us to take turns throwing rocks and dirt clods at it.
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Shut the fuck up gps, I know I'm on the highway to hell.
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Usually by the time I've finished typing out my @ reply I realise I shouldn't be sending it.
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Never been married but I've heard a Taylor Swift song so I know the gist of it.
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I just wanted to make a snarky comment online, and they made me create a blog.
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Twitter - teaching folks how to get to the fucking point since 2006.
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Sure thing wing-ding badda-bing old-time swing grenadine pocket peen (WTF, 'Tica?) I'm only 25% positive there was a reason for this tweet.
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Reality is wrong. Dreams are for real. ~Tupac Shakur ♥
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Today is a day with a name The name of "Good", a little inane A day you eat a bun that's angry & hot Buns that are hot? I like them a lot!
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When society collapses & history books are burned, it'll be fuckin hilarious when the aliens try to decipher fact from fiction on Twitter.
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It's a peculiar theology, but I believe one day I'll be reunited with all my lost tweets.
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I'm sad that not once during any hospital stay or visit have I heard "Paging Doctor Fist to Proctology."
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I remained too much inside my head and ended up losing my mind.~Edgar Allan Poe
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It's hard being a girl. You have to carry a purse and stuff.
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Well fuck. I just ran face first into a wall I didn’t know I’d built. Enlightenment can be painful.
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If you've never been banned from anywhere, anything or anyone...we probably shouldn't hang out.
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NO. Just love that word.
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The minute you're in a relationship, it starts raining dudes abouta come.
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All tv ads should be done by cows.
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Don't want to burst your bubble, but Twitter doesn't give awards for perfect attendance.
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I hate to break it to you Kay Jewelry but, my last kiss began with a free drink and creepy wink. ;)
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Guys. I got the shit to make friendship bracelets. You in?
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Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people ~Carl Jung
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I just want to put you all at ease by reminding you that I am still Jenny from the block.
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Subtweets can't affect you if: 1. You don't read it. 2. You don't know it's for you. 3. You don't give a fuck about the asshole writing it.
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I'm always disappointed when the old mop doesn't fuck the bowling ball's face holes in the Swiffer commercial.
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"Could we change our attitude, we should not only see life differently, but life itself would come to be different." – Katherine Mansfield ♥
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You people have no fucking manners. And you swear too damn much!
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I don't know why I ask people on twitter if they are okay. Nothing I can do about it if they aren't. Just showing I care, I guess.
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*two handed exaggerated jerk off motion with pelvic thrust bonus*
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Best decision I ever made was to let myself be happy as often as possible, over as little as possible. Made all the difference.
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My last hospital roommate was so annoying I left. DM me if you need a road tested wheelchair with iv setup. *robe & slippers included.
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Watching people see how close they can park to go hike a mountain.
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I like the way you idiots make me smile when I'm doing the opposite to myself. Keep that shit up.
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If you go back in time, be sure your money isn't from the future. Rookie mistake!
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"It smells like poop but tastes like bananas!"
#IDontWantToKnow -
travel the trails until you see goodness sincerity kindness. if you don't see it yet keep going. keep going and keep going and keep going
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I may never win gold, or the lottery, or buy more bonus features but I still have you guys, right? Right?? RIGHT??? (echo in room)
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I don't mean to brag but I could win in a thumb war against any of the thugs around here.
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Just finished my second autobiography GET FUCKED. It's a game changer for you book worms.
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Incontinence & self humiliating jokes are always there to offer much needed security in a virtual world where everything's questionable .
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The need of the hour, gentlemen, is a double portion of pan fried noodles and a Fanta.
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I shouldn't be allowed to interact with management at this level.
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Before you sub tweet on my last tweet, fuck off..,,I already fucked your mom. And please let me know if you need any roof work.
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I know plenty of Spanish. Amigo = friend. Pequeno = little. Gracias = thank you. Soy sauce = I am sauce.
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I typed this tweet using nothing but my penis and a pencil.
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"The belligerent drunk will pass out soon enough & we won't have to read his tweets.". A sub tweet about my tweet to beat everyone to it.
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Just because Favstar blocked me, you didn't have to forget me.
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Knowing "when to fold 'em & walk away" is crucial. All things have an end.
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Every once in awhile, somebody says something here that makes you think this is more than just a beautiful waste of time.
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So, Justin Bieber has a monkey now? I'm not worried, I can't think of any other pop stars whose odd behavior began by getting a pet monkey.
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Sometimes sarcasm is scarey and hard to grasp...*pats your head softly*
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..."And he faded away into the back alley of a city with a mangy dog & a broken tambourine where he lived happily ever after"...
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You know that shit you heard that can ruin your whole day? Fuck that shit :)
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Missed connection: I was wearing jorts and uggs practicing the splits in the food court and you threw your half eaten egg sandwich at me
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Was it good for you, too?
#BadJeopardyAnswers -
I want to be the reason you lose your safety deposit.
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I've been to a lot of places,met a lot of weird ppl & exposed myself to a lot of girls. I mean, exposed myself to a lot of different ideas.
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If you look at gossip mags and know who the people are on the cover, YOU are the problem.
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I would much rather a wicked demon in my basement than to constantly be haunted by my past.
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I would watch a movie that had Antarctica a whale a cabin and pancakes. Like they just eat pancakes all day then go look for the whale.
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Looking for a nice girl who wears funky clothes and can kickflip.
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Nothing tastes as good as your shut the fuck up feels.
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thankfully, if you swear loudly and regularly, whole groups of people stop talking to you altogether.
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Everyone is full of random senseless shit that's only stokes egos. That's the essence of every tweet.
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Reaching out for you, reaching out for me~ Swinging for fingertips that brush so tantalisingly~ Inwardly I shake~ Touch or not, I ache.
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While I nodded nearly napping, suddenly there came a scratching, then a screaming and meowing, shut the fuck up cat-- Poe if he had a cat
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I'm single because monogamy. It's not my thing.Nobody's asked to be monogamous with me but whatever.
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Instead of sending me on a meaningless search for information no one cares about, send me of on a vandalism spree. I'll start with ur house.
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Words are like currency. Value is based on the faith in the issuer.
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Am I wrong to describe Twitter to a friend as a "massive online burrito update system"?
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If you dig deep enough, there are lots of fresh tweets from great tweeters. Dig.
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I really don't think I'm getting enough attention here. I think I need a site where I get more attention plus a little validation.
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Sometimes you just have to stand in the middle of the street and scream.
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Just added "cock sucking enthusiast " in my new resume . Even though its only a hobby
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Just saw The Expendables 2. Very strong on explosions and hand to hand combat, but seriously lacking in kickflips.
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I fell in-love all over again with someone I am already madly in-love with & broke my hip. Kidding, I was trying to to do a keg stand.
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Sometimes I retweet your subtweets as a subtweet back to you. You know who you are. Jim
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The fuckery in this Walmart self checkout line is palpable.
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Taylor Swift...maybe it's not the boys who are the problem, hmm?
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Today, instead of falling asleep in a meeting, I translated the rude version of the "Addams Family" theme to Spanish & made it rhyme.
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Contact your doctor, to see if Twitter is right for you. (No. The answer is no)
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Join humanity at the all u can eat unsatisfactory buffet..serving bitterness, insufficiency, & never good enough everyday...& it's free!!!
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One more picture tweet and I'm blocki....."Oh, what a cute kitty. What's his name?"
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The only reason people hate fame is because they aren't famous. Again, fuck Hollywood for that realization.
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What if everything was real?
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I bring you the gift of these four words: I believe in you~ Blaise Pascal
#LoveScopes ♥ -
Lets see 16+8 carry the 1...nope still equals bitchface buttgobbler, move along
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If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping in a closed room with a mosquito. - African Proverb ♥
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My favourite sex position is WOW... that's when I flip your MOM over ...
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What the fuck, over
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I just burped after four slices of pizza. FOUR. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PIZZAS JESUS ATE BEFORE HE BURPED?! 81. EIGHTY. ONE. READ A BIBLE.
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Dog training: who would have thought? It's dogs training owners to encourage trainers to train owners to believe they're in charge
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I’m in the mood to RT all kinds of stupid shit.
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OK you can start loving me from the very depths of your soul anytime now. It'll be fun. I'll dance and make bacon.
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Marco.
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Officially been here over a year. Does this mean I qualify for a t-shirt now? a crush? Oh hell, hot sex? A finger? Damn it gimme some thing
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Heathenism is a religion too. Where's our tax break?
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I'm glad we're finally turning our clocks forward. Seems that these dials have been facing the walls for like FOREVER!
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The greatest win is found in keeping no score.
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I need two grizzly bears to go to the market with me. To silently follow behind. That is all. That is all I ever need.
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WOW! I JUST CAUGHT A FISH IN MY MOUTH! Jay kay, guys. Jay kay. It's cum. I'm not a bear.
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The King of Spades, Queen of Hearts, Jack of Clubs and Ten of Diamonds walk into a bar.., dunno the rest of the joke, I have all the 2's.
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I don't care how smart you are. We gonna do it my way.
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Not only am I the president of sweaty girl butts dot com, I'm also a client.
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Can you imagine if twitter had secret tunnels.. Oh we'd be passing each other in trench coats, sunglasses 'you didn't see me, I wasn't here'
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The voices in my head are usually having sex & sometimes they let me watch. I asked once why the ball gag was so big, but they ignored me.
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Decent road head was just impossible in that stupid car. - the Pope
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If you've got 23 hours spare each day, you too can be a Twitter success story!
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I'm on Twotter&I interrupted myself on Twotter, when I saw a heartfelt Tweet, made me stop&think. Ye gods I don't think I have a RL left.
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Some people dream of returning to their former glory. I would be happy to return to when it sucked just a little less.
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When the beard becomes the bard, my poetry becomes the pastry on your table.
Tortured_soul
The New Westerns
BlackWidow
SpaceSquirrel
Scarlett Fever
PrincessCandyEmpire
Jesus Jaramillo
Rotusbrossum
snicky
Gone
LoveScopes
Czar M
Whiskey Tits
pahehpaher
jennco
madmax thompson
Theodora Chester
Justin Walker™
C C
The Batman
Lito
Lolly Sassafras
John Mancini Band
Hushpuppy 5¢
Evil Schwartzie
System Failure
SeanPrankster
Tanya Johnston
Dan Frost
Tweeter McGavin
sex out the city, ok
Scott Taylor
Anonymous Vagabond
Don Pearyawn
Pam
Southern Insomniac
paula
Boiled Wieners
Uncle JP the Janitor
I am CanadianCyn
Richard W.
Romere
Rickster Rickster
Lilly
✟¥◣∈『.✙▲▼◥▆◤
Patrick James
osama bininyomamma
cynthiazolamOverdose
Bitch
truly
Vandal
sweet p
Indian Bread Maker
@Nimrod_Nation
L. David Sloane
Il Postino
Ironmess
Brent Smith
Nickels
'Tica
#theothervoices
WhatserName
Viva La Crap!
Dakota
Chrisanna4real
Wonder Twin
Theodore Roy
Classy Cassy
FrauFickenDammt
Kay
Mark
Sweet P.
Maria Carreon
Susan W
Sarah Elizabeth
@twinanator
Sonal
H.R. Paper Stacks
Willowbottom
The Gray Butler
Duey Oxberger
alex carbajal
Just Call Me Frank™©
MF FairyPrincessRach
Queen of the Damned
GuyInOrangeShades™®
The Amiest Amy
Blakey Pants
freckle face
Jabberwocky
Pam Nabea
Paul
Enrico Palazzo
Aspersioncast
VirgoSherry
Lala W
James
Commandant Grayza
oops
Rosie
gordon
Mytwoscentz
Kent Renepogel Snr
Stu, For Real
Not Silvestri
Alan Parham
Madame LaCrooz
ClumzyVixen
petemoss
Dally Doll
The Snark Knight
falO
Šoul (v╪) Λmplified
Labels: #ftwot, #gaf, #gsoav, #jsntf, #tbot, tweets, twitter
posted by Taranonymous Reads Not the Book of Tweet @ 8:47 PM
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